The petite perky receptionist at the orthodontist’s office smiled up at me through her braces (Will Work for Orthodontia) and said, “OK, now, I’m going to give you a little homework assignment, but don’t you worry! We don’t want you to stress over it at all – we won’t...
Night Fever
So I’ve written about reaching into my desk drawer for a Chapstick and applying a glue stick to my lips instead. This morning, I very nearly swallowed an earplug instead of my multivitamin, which is similar in size and shape. I caught myself at the last moment only because...
Crotchety About Mine
“Oh, honestly,” said the woman on the trail, grabbing her frothing Rottweiler by the collar and pulling him away from me so I could continue unmolested on my hike. As we passed, she squatted down and nuzzled the drooling dog like a lover, whispering endearments that ended with, “She...
Asinine Valentines
I feel sorry for men — almost. Or at least on Valentine’s Day. What a pantload of crap this fake Hallmark holiday dumps upon us! I work with a lovely man my own age who was a pathetic wreck yesterday because he hadn’t jumped through all the prescribed frilly...
Sleeve of Hearts
He was a beautiful Jewish boy from NYC with big dark eyes and a winning smile, smart and sassy and apt to lug Classic Literature around with him. Hardcovers, even. He had a beautiful Jewish girlfriend from NYC, but that did not stop me from memorizing his college schedule...