I admit to trying them once or twice, when I was young and didn’t know any better. Youth is a time for experimentation, after all, when one wants to seem cool and groovy and in the know. Sloe gin, menthol Marlboros, No Doze, pork rinds – you try it...
The boys out back are throwing axes again. Not my boys, mind you. They never do anything dangerous, at least within my sight. Long ago, I instilled enough fear and paranoia in them to keep them safe for a lifetime. They can thank me later. There’s a college rental...
I am sure your garage doesn’t look like mine. You probably actually park your car in it. It’s probably big enough for two or three cars, not just one. You probably don’t use your garage as a pantry and, in the winter, an extra refrigerator. Your home no doubt...
The owl is disguised as a sausage pizza. And it isn’t foretelling my death, unless we extrapolate and equate overweight with an untimely end. Several pizzas sit there attempting to tempt me. Warm and free (like the best of partners), they display themselves in attractive positions on the kitchen...
I thought about giving up Facebook for Lent – it’d be easier than giving up liquor or popcorn (homemade, and essentially just a vehicle for real butter and salt – although the movie theater stuff works too, dripping with artificial flavors and colors and trans fats. Purity is overrated)....