Day 64: Mania Du Jour

Put down the self-help articles, Missy. Pick up a novel.

Yet there’s always that spark of innocent hope — the next Life Hack will be life changing! one simple trick will fix everything forever!

It’s like buying lottery tickets as your retirement plan. Please, God, let me win, so that I can prove to You that wealth won’t change me! It may dress me better, and it may put me behind the wheel of a real car instead of something a high school student would be ashamed to drive. But it won’t make me a bad human.

I never did get into THE SECRET a decade ago, which promised that the laws of attraction (properly applied) would provide vast personal riches and glory. All you need is greed! Bend the universe to your will, or live like a loser!

These days, record-keeping has replaced wishful thinking. We live in a world of metrics and lists and productivity charts, for everything from fitness to flossing to flushing dog poop from the backyard. Nothing counts unless you systematically goal it to death and then record your daily progress for prosperity, in perpetuity. Ideally, you belong to a social media group of like-minded strivers, where you can boast about day-to-day personal triumphs.

Here’s the thing: No-one cares.

It’s great that you do, of course. Don’t get me wrong. But no-one else is really interested in whether or not you drank your 8 glasses of water today and earned a smiley-face badge on your tracking app.

You might just try drinking when you’re thirsty. You really don’t need to set a timer on your phone as a reminder to chug 8 ounces every 90 minutes. Humans have been drinking water successfully for millennia.

Here’s the other thing: your illusion of perfect control is just that – wishful thinking. Your lists and charts and plans won’t save you. They may help you get the laundry done, but they won’t keep the Grim Reaper away. He has his own list.

So tear those tedious to-dos up, and enjoy what matters on this beautiful day.