Day 56: Life Hot-Flashed Before My Eyes

He is hale and hearty and rather full of himself, this guy from the city introducing the show. Wearing a trendy suit meant for a man ten years younger, he’s shaved his head to pretend he doesn’t care about going bald. He is taking credit for the musical we are about to see – this glorified municipal clerk in charge of booking events.

Since I’m a clerk myself, I’m allowed to badmouth him.

He is not allowed to badmouth us. He has no right to make insider jokes.

The hall is packed with middle-aged-and-older women, seasoned with a sprinkling of brave men. It’s a raucous crowd. We pick up our MENOPAUSE THE MUSICAL fans in the lobby. We wear loud clothing rather than our usual cloaks of invisibility. We’re militant. We have earned the right to be there. We’re ready to laugh at ourselves and our aging female condition.

Toastmaster Man stands up there and trots out hoary old chestnuts about hot flashes and mood swings. There is polite laughter after the first one. By the third, we sit there silently eyeing him. Our hostility is palpable, and finally penetrates even his clueless oblivion. He reluctantly puts down his microphone and skuttles off stage.

The show is loud and funny and dead-to-rights accurate in its portrayal of our plight. I am probably the only woman there who sheds a quiet tear or two, mourning all the lost youth and beauty in that room. Yeah, yeah, we have power and strength and wisdom and inner beauty, now. That and $4.50 will get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks, if you have a coupon.

The Ringmaster banters bravely with us in the lobby as we leave. He is somewhat wary. I know this because he’s holding a chair and a whip.

4 thoughts on “Day 56: Life Hot-Flashed Before My Eyes

  1. Larry

    We were there! Third row, in the afternoon performance. From the time he walked out onto the stage, I thought it odd that he would introduce the show.

    • Ha! Glad to know I wasn’t just being hyper-sensitive, bitchy, and hormonal :-)

  2. Brenda

    Lol! My tears were from laughing so hard even though I had seen the show before it gets more relevant every day! Keep writing please-I so enjoy your posts!

    • Thank you, Brenda! It was hard to pick a favorite moment — they were all so perfectly true. Now, I just have to remember to laugh when I’m miserable.

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