“Your sister is waiting for you to see her post on your timeline.” Do I need this new personal pressure from Facebook? They’ve already sent me an email telling me that my sister posted on my page, along with the text of her comment. Now, they nag me if...
Whimsy
Santa, Shrapnel, and Stupidity
So I don’t remember my parents ever actually lying to me. At least, I never caught them doing so, which amounts to the same thing. I suffered the usual heart-rending Santa Claus disillusionment at their hands, but that was a lie perpetrated by the whole culture. And, as lies...
True Grit: Strippers on the Altar
So some evangelical middle-aged church ladies in righteous pastel polyester show up at a local strip joint bright and early this past Sunday morning. They are there to offer consolation prizes to the 20 or so exotic dancers who’ve been told at 2:00 AM (after working a long and...
One Fish, Two Fish, Dead Fish, Cold Fish
First, it was 6,000 dead pigs floating in Shanghai’s water supply. Then, 1,000 dead ducks surfaced in the Sichuan River. Now, hundreds of thousands of dead fish are floating in the Fu river in Wuhan, capital of the central province of Hubei. Workers are digging trenches along 25...
Burning Issues: Goat Shit, Cheetos, and Chemical Weaponry
“Is it safe?” asks Brand New Husband. I have just driven the car up through the middle of a rocky Vermont cow pasture and have come to an abrupt halt beside a ramshackle hovel. We have traveled an hour and a half from the nearest major airport. I have...